FA, weight loss talk on the feed, blogging and me
It is interesting to find out how people came to be FA bloggers. Having been reading FA blogs for over 3 years now, I have read many stories as to how individuals came to have their own FA blog. The stories are all different but they contain many similarities, mainly that these individuals wanted to actively participate in the FA movement and felt that blogging was one of the ways (or the way) they could best do this.
Personally, I started this blog after reading FA blogs (primarily via the Notes feed when it was run by FatFu) for almost 12 months. I read every FA blog I could find and I read many books and articles about FA. I educated myself about the Fat Acceptance movement, its history, who were the big players (no pun intended) and the varying ‘degrees’ of FA that people operated from. I commented on other FA blogs, I read the comments on other FA blogs before I even started posting my own comments. I made sure I had some idea what I was talking about before I joined the discussion. I asked questions and I listened to people’s answers. But I also made sure I wasn’t asking the same questions that had been asked a zillion times before, that is what search functions and Google are for. I educated myself as to what I was getting myself involved in before I joined the feed, before I even identified as being part of the movement. I started my blog because I wanted to be part of the movement. I wanted to contribute something to the movement and felt I had something worth contributing. I wanted a larger Australian presence on the feed and in the movement. Personally I can’t understand why anyone would start an FA blog if they weren’t passionate about FA. Sure Kate and Marianne ended up with a book deal and Kate has said she started SP to establish herself as a writer. But they are also passionate about FA. They know FA. They know what the movement is about. They didn’t start their FA blogs and immediately start telling the rest of the movement how to redecorate.
There is nothing worse than someone new coming in and telling everyone how best they should run things, what should be done and how to do it. You don’t walk into someone’s living room and immediately start telling them how they should rearrange their furniture, what color they should change their decor to or how wrong their choice of artwork is. It is THEIR living room and if you are a polite guest, you keep your mouth shut. If their decor offends you that much, you don’t visit again. You certainly don’t ask if you can move in! What you do, is you go home and you decorate your own living room to suit your own tastes. Then you invite people to come calling. If they like your decor (and the way you host them), they will call again, if they don’t like it, they won’t come back. You are entitled to decorate as you see fit, as am I. But if you want to play in my living room, then you have respect for me and my other visitors. Same goes if I want to play in your living room. We don’t all have to be the same, it would be boring if we were. But a basic modicum of respect goes a long way. Don’t ask to come play if you can’t handle my decor.
I am not saying everyone needs to do what I did before starting an FA blog or asking to be on the Notes feed. I am simply sharing the process I went through.
And as for diet talk… let me say this… if someone (let’s use the name Belle) says she is going to undertake a new eating program in order to see if it can control her blood sugar levels (or whatever health conditions) but she couldn’t care less if she loses weight or not, then that is ok to have on the feed. If Belle says she is going to try and lose weight in order to control her blood sugar levels (or whatever health condition) then that is not ok to have on the feed. If Belle does lose weight (even though that wasn’t her focus) then she needn’t sing and dance on the feed about how great that is. If she loses 10lb or 100lb that is really beside the point as far as the feed goes. The feed is not the place to discuss how great it is that you (or anyone else) have lost weight, that you (or anyone else) want to or intend to lose weight (for whatever reason) or how you intend to lose weight. Posts containing stories of how you (or anyone else) might have lost weight in the past need to be prefaced with trigger warnings and should not be “this is how I lost weight back then, you should try it” oriented posts. If feed posts talk about weight loss, they need to be approaching dieting and weight loss in a critical manner, by critical I don’t necessarily mean condemning, I mean in a way that thinks critically, in a way that looks behind the dominant social rhetoric concerning dieting and weight loss. Not making out that weight loss is a good thing, even under the guise of ‘health reasons’.
I hope that clarifies things a bit.
Do me a favor.
That last paragraph? All those things you said would and wouldn’t be acceptable on the feed? Pick one, just one, and quote where I violated that rule.
Where did I say I was going to lose weight to avoid heart disease? Where did I “sing and dance” about how great it would be if I lost weight? Where did I say I intended to lose weight?
And if you don’t want to post this to your blog, cool. Just email me the answer to those questions. I wrote what I wrote very carefully. It’s not my fault if you didn’t read it very carefully.
Peace,
Shannon
Shannon, You said quite clearly that you are genetically predisposed to heart disease and that if you were to diet, it would be for that reason. Doesn’t this mean that you think losing weight would lower the risk of heart disease for you? Heart disease (according the dominant medical paradigm) = unhealthy. By saying losing weight would lower your risk of heart disease you are saying that your fat/weight is contributing to your risk of heart disease. This a a highly debateable point and the manner in which you claim your fat is contributing to your (risk of) heart disease and that therefore losing weight would make your healthier, is not acceptable on the feed.
Not a living room, more like a shopping mall that serves a specific market niche. Lots of shops inside of varying taste levels. Shops that don’t fit in may leave on their own, or be evicted.
[...] 2010 January 19 by bigliberty This was originally written as a comment on Bri’s post: FA, weight loss talk on the feed, blogging and me. Please read her post, it’s good stuff [...]
Shannon, I also seem to recall you saying that you think most dieters regain weight because they just don’t stick to their diets. Or maybe that was in the interview itself. In any case, it definitely crossed the line for me. Because gee, I guess it’s all about will power after all and why hasn’t anyone ever said that before. (/sarcasm)
That, along with the disgusting, insulting, disturbing and totally uncalled for post that followed your being kicked off the feed, are the reasons I am no longer reading your blog.
I did not say that losing weight would lower my risk of heart disease. Please read again, I said that changing my diet and exercise habits (my lifestyle) would lower my risk of heart disease. I then said that if I made those lifestyle changes, I thought I would lose “a lot of weight.” Maybe I should have added “as a side effect,” but I didn’t think it was necessary. I never said my weight was contributing to my risk of heart disease. Please read it again. If you find that I say this, please tell me where.
Peace,
Shannon
*sigh* You know what really amazes me? That this STILL manages to resurrect itself from the pit and shuffle around after us moaning like something from ‘World War Z’
Remember when Paul was running BFB? Seemed like we where doing this dance every other month until the One Big Blow-Out that came down about 2 years ago. I think that was a year or two post fatosphere and pre-Fat Feed (2FSP & -1FF?). There was a lot of ‘what if’ questions concerning who’s too fat, who SHOULD lose weight, who NEEDS to lose weight, and how shameful it was that we where advocating for people with serious health issues to NOT lose weight. How irresponsible of us. (Oh yes, my children are obese. please remove them from my home and cut out their stomachs. I wish to be a responsible and compliant fatty) I also remember a LOT of hair splitting over language, specific situations, and nitpicking of details that rarely had anything to do with the majority of people in the fatosphere. For me it was my first taste of what I later came to think of as institutionalized Trollery.
During that last big Diet vs. Anti-diet blow out, a lot of people left. Some of them permanently shutting down their blogs. We lost voices that haven’t been heard from since and I, personally, miss to this day. Some hung on but eventually drifted away. While others absolutely REFUSED to leave. Eventually, like Gollum, becoming rather nasty little critters that nobody wanted to deal with at all. They argued, they flamed, they ‘Had to Make Their Point’, they rarely ever apologized. While whole rafts of people explained, re-explained, tried to convey, presented examples, pointed at studies, tried to engage logic, empathy, and understanding POV’s. Sometimes it worked. Other times it wasn’t GOING to work no matter what. The ‘Sphere and the Feeds are still here. Far as I’m concerned, that’s a good thing.
>>We fill a niche that will be unfilled after we’re gone. Whether people like
us or not is unimportant. We’re necessary. I think you deserve us.<<
LEMMY KILMEISTER
Motörhead
O.K. off topic but I don’t care! THIS below:
>>We fill a niche that will be unfilled after we’re gone. Whether people like
us or not is unimportant. We’re necessary. I think you deserve us.<<
LEMMY KILMEISTER
Motörhead
Can I just say I love you for posting this Bilt4Cmfrt? Hell. Yes. Lemmy is one to admire, indeed. (o.k. fan girl moment, over)
Bri, I think you deserve our respect for sticking to your principles and keeping the feed a safe place. Its unfortunate that some feelings have been hurt, but its the reality of running a large group like this.
I used to run a large e-group (before they were absorbed by yahoo) and I well remember the hundreds of irate emails, threats, and sockpuppets that used to plague it. In the end I realised that I couldn’t please everyone – it simply isn’t humanly possible – and settled on pleasing most of the people, most of the time. I think thats all anyone can be expected to do.
It seems like I’m one of the folks that this post may be referring to in some respect. I had a vague idea to start a blog in mid-December about being a fat chick and over the next few weeks and even today, it continues to evolve.
I didn’t start reading Fatosphere and other fat-related blogs until right around xmas time and by early January, I was hooked and was also ready to start my blog.
So I emailed Bri and told her I just started a new blog and would love to be added to the feed. I read the rules for what blogs were appropriate and thought that my blog fit into the confines Bri had laid out.
Turns out I was wrong. I may be the shortest lived member of the fat-o-sphere feed with a whopping 3 day membership! LOL.
And although it was a bummer to be booted off the feeds, I respected Bri’s decision because she’s the one who administers the feeds and therefore, she gets to decide what’s in and what’s out. Period.
But I guess I felt a little judged in this post because I was too quick to try and join this community and more specifically, the FA feed. Some of us like to sit back and test the waters before slowly entering and some of us like to jump in with both feet.
I know Bri said above that she’s not saying that everyone needs to do what she did, but sharing her experience and the ladies from SP experience of taking their time before jumping into the fatosphere kinda stung (whether it was meant to or not).
I was so excited to find this little corner of the blogosphere and I was so excited about my new blog, that yeah- I jumped in with both feet and I don’t regret it!!!
With all that said, I respect Bri’s decision to kick me off because I am woman enough to admit that she knows more about what is appropriate for this feed than I do. And if she doesn’t believe my blog is a FA blog, who am I to argue b/c she definitely knows more about the movement than I do.
And this post may have nothing to do with me and may just be Bri blowing off some steam (which she certainly deserves after the last couple weeks), because I do believe she’s been a punching bag for some.
But for those of us who didn’t take their time and test the waters before jumping in, that should be ok too… even if it means a 3 day membership to the fatosphere before being voted off the island!
@Fat Chick – I can totally respect what you’re saying. I think it’s fine to jump in with both feet in all good faith and intentions … but just like any relationship, if there’s a compatibility issue down the line, hopefully you just part ways without the extreme negativity. Sometimes, that’s just how the cookie crumbles. And it’s okay! And it sounds like that’s the way it was with you and Bri.
Bri, I also find myself reevaluating the process through which I came involved in my blog and held the views I have today. It’s pretty long, so I’ll just link to it. But I think this reevalutaion process is really valuable! It allowed me to come to terms with a “But isn’t fat unhealthy?” comment in my body positive discussion group and feel okay when people don’t have the same “101″ framework as I do.
I like hearing how people came involved in the first place and how they have changed through the fat acceptance movement. We should do this more!
I said that changing my diet and exercise habits (my lifestyle) would lower my risk of heart disease.
I never said my weight was contributing to my risk of heart disease.
What you say and more often, the way you say it reveals your underlying beliefs and that’s the crux of the issue, not the rules of the feed.
I came across your blog from another blog I read and I found this post to be quite interesting. I blog about bridging the gap between weight loss and body acceptance so I wonder where I would fit? And the reason I blog about both is because in the midst of all the discussions about fat acceptance and the weight loss industry women are scared and people are dying and that is very real. So while all of this research is being done to negate and debunk certain myths about what it means to be healthy or what weight loss really means, people are getting sicker. Both of my grandmothers died miserable deaths due to diabetes complications and many of the women in my family from my mother to her mother to her mother have diabetes and have had legs amputated as a result. So the question for me becomes is all of this real or imagined? And I don’t care who’s right in the debate all I care about is not having my legs amputated.
Another side of the issue that is often overlooked is the quality of food choices, at least in the US, in poor neighborhoods specifically for people of color, where more people tend to be fat. So whether or not you believe in fat acceptance or weight loss does not matter when you’ve got an entire generation of kids growing up who’ve never eaten a vegetable in their entire life. If kids are literally living off of Twinkies, chips and juice, something needs to change. I’m a social worker in public schools and I see this everyday, and this isn’t about science this is about real people and real challenges. So I wonder what the answer is?
Trenia:
I (and many other’s, I’d assume), understand your fear of developing diabetes, and why you may be unsure of where you stand on health issues.
Howevre, I don’t see the link between “people are really getting sick” and “fat = unhealthy”. If people in your family, or any other, become diabetic, that of course is real. The connection to fat is what’s being questioned in the Fatosphere. Of course people really have diseases…but that doesn’t mean that fat is what’s causing them. And in the FA movement, people believe that it ISN’T the fat…And people in the FA movement assert and remind that not all fat people have diabetes, just like not all diabetics are fat.
We do obviously have a problem with kids (and adults) eating unhealthy food too often. I (and I think many other Fat Acceptors) only see this as a problem to be solved, however, in the context that you place it. When people are too poor to afford healthy food, that’s unfortunate and needs fixing. If someone chooses unhealthy food, as an adult, then that’s their business. Whether they get fat or stay thin…or whether or not a healthy person gets fat or stays thin…it’s no one’s business but theirs. I think that’s what FA stands for.